Friday, October 5, 2012

"Have I Ever Told You That You Are Very Pretty..."

Everything always changes..
Same changes.

I thought I was done. Life hurts sometimes. And sometimes its just you against the world.

Ben Gibbard is probably one of my favorite artists. The songs Summer Skins and Tiny Vessels have never hit me so hard as they have these past two week. It describes the scenarios that I am in only i'm the girl that he is talking about.

Summer Skins

"Squeaky swings and tall grass 
The longest shadows ever cast 
The water's warm and children swim 
And we frolicked about in our summer skin 

I don't recall a single care 
Just greenery and humid air 
Then Labor day came and went 
And we shed what was left of our summer skin 

On the night you left I came over 
And we peeled the freckles from our shoulders 
Our brand new coats so flushed and pink
And I knew your heart, I couldn't win
Cause the seasons change was a conduit 
And we left our love in our summer skin"

Tiny Vessels 

This is the moment that you know
That you told her that you loved her but you don't.
You touch her skin and then you think
That she is beautiful but she don't mean a thing to me.
Yeah, she is beautiful but she don't mean a thing to me.

I spent two weeks in Silverlake
The California sun cascading down my face
There was a girl with light brown streaks
And she was beautiful but she didn't mean a thing to me.
Yeah she was beautiful but she didn't mean a thing to me.

Wanted to believe in all the words that i was speaking
As we moved together in the dark
And all the friends that i was telling
And all the playful misspellings
And every bite i gave you left a mark

Tiny vessels oozed into your neck
And formed the bruises
That you said you didn't want to fade
But they did and so did i that day

All i see are dark grey clouds
In the distance moving closer with every hour
So when you ask "was something wrong?"
That i think "you're damn right there is but we can't talk about it now. 
No, we can't talk about it now."

So one last touch and then you'll go
And we'll pretend that it meant something so much more
But it was vile, and it was cheap
And you are beautiful but you don't mean a thing to me

Monday, July 2, 2012

I know I have not written in like 2 months but I didn't want to get ahead of my self by writing all of my feelings down. But this is what I do know.

I am happy.
I am falling in love everyday.

There have been so many times when jesse has gotten me things that i love so much and i am impressed because of how well he listen. LIke the one tim he got me a LARGE Chick-fil-A lemonade  at the mall after I had told him months ago how much I was in love with Chick-fil-A lemonade. He is so wonderful to me. 

... Is this too good to be true?

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Road my bike from provo to orem (i took the bike trail !) I LOVED IT!!

Monday, April 30, 2012

Thursday, April 26, 2012


TOday was a day of an "Aha!" moment. I have been reading the seven successful habit for successful people by steven r covey. I must be butchering everything right now but oh well i'll go back and change it. Ok so I have been reading this book and it says how sometimes your perception of things is way off. It uses the analogy of having goal to be somewhere in chicago but you are just getting lost because your map is a map of Detroit and no matter how you hold it where you put it you will just get even more lost and no matter how great you attitude is towards where you are it is not going to change the fact that you are in chicago and you have a detroit map that is not helping you get anywhere. I don't know that it makes any sense of what I just said BUT.. Its saying how if we have the wrong perception of live words and phrases will not substitute that perception. You need to change the perception to makes real changes. 
Here is what I learned today. So i went to go watch The Vow and if you have not seen it do not read ahead. I learned that if you are making the right decision and you are in tune with the spirit you will become the person that God wants you to be. Then you are are that person and you have been prepared you will meet that person that is right for you. Even if you have meet them before, you need to become a certain person to be with them and if your not there yet it wont work out. It wont be easy. it will be forced. i just feel like i need to grow and become someone that the lord wants me to be so that i can become the right girl for the right guy to be with me. I don't know that any of this made any sense but it makes sense now to me. This movie made me change my perception of dating and become my best self. Also Marion changed my perception of being my best self. " Am I being the kind of girl that I would want my brother to date? I am super critical of girls that by brother hangs out with but and I a girl that I would approve of him dating and hanging out with? If I don't approve of my actions no one will.  I need to become some one that I approve of morally and spiritually. 
I need some work and i want to be someone who can say No when the time is appropriate and say yes when it is right. I need to understand that saying NO is not a bad thing but it is something that needs to be said in order to move forward to something greater.  It like taking the road less travled but it leads to a better future. Taking the road less traveled is not easy but i have hope that it leads to something greater than I have had up untill now. 

Love Always,

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

I GOT A JOB!!!!!!!
I interviewed today for a job and like 2 hours later i was offered the job!!!
I am so excited! the girls that I work with are really nice and I think I am going to LOVE IT SOO MUCH!

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

He Can Be My Hero Any Day!!

This is not my favorite song by Enrique but its a new one that i started to like a lot.
I dont know that a lot of people know this about me but I LOVE Enrique Iglesias and I have since he did the main theme song for a telenovela that i watched when i was like in 5th grade. And my dad got Vickie his first cd. Me and Vickie must have listened to his cd a thousand time. The best part about him that I love is that he really loves and cares for his fans he gives them kisses and he pulls up random girls on stage and he sings to them and holds them. I can only dream be that girl. OH man! I love his songs better in spanish and I really do hope to be able to see him live. I have just been on this Enrique Iglesias kick and that is the only artist I want to listen to. His song are mostly about him being heartbroken. I don't think they are autobiographical why would anyone leave him?????? but whatever i still love his song and he is so beautiful!

Saturday, April 21, 2012

My Moose...My Man...

Look at this moose! He is just sooo cute and sooo big! I love it so much!

Thursday, April 19, 2012

I am no ones heroin...

Worst week  of my life! And now that it is over I have no idea what I am going to do...
Provo can be really lonely. There are so may face and non that i can recognize. 
I miss my sisters. I miss my brother and I miss my parents and I miss my doggy who loves to follow me wherever I go. I miss jason (as stupid as that sounds its true ). i miss the people that make me laugh. 

This is the first time in my life when i have no idea what my next step will be I have no idea what I am doing here and I have no idea why I am here. 

What am I doing here?

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Lazy Thursday

Laziest Thursday EVER!
but it was good! 
Went to a wedding reception with Blake and then went on an adventure to find apple beer but
So we settled for Jones Soda.
Exposed Blake to Jones Soda and he liked it!
Exposed Blake to New Girl and he liked it!
These are the 2 songs i have put on repeat.


Love Always,

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

three things

I need to go to bed.
1. i listened to Mana like the whole time i was editing photos in the library. I listened to one of their song. "Ojala pudiera borrarte" and I was hooked. IS IT REALLY MY FAULT I AM A SUCKER FOR HEARTBROKEN SONGS RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! In my head i was singing along to all these sad and powerfull heart broken songs, not just sining along but yelling and crying all at once. (this is all in my head) i am sure someone would have kicked me out if i was actually doing that.
2. John said that I should be vulnerable... I've never tried that but maybe i'll try it next time. Maybe not. IDK but i think he has a point. I like to build walls and when things get serious i change the subject.
3. I finished my photo assignment and i need to get up at 6 to work out print it off and go to class... so... goodnight.

love always,

Sunday, April 1, 2012

  for once i think that I am right where i belong... why I am the one always packing up my stuff...

I went to the Fun. concert and I had mixed feeling because of the new cd. Mostly because i just love the format so much and i have to accept that Fun. is not the format nor does Nate want it to be the Format. But I am just not a fan of the new cd just because it is soo different.  But I thought they played a great show! I am super happy that i went. They played my favorite song from Aim and Ignite and the songs that they did from the new cd i liked. I actually liked the new songs live than on the CD if that makes any sense. But it was really hard to not get into the show because they have so much energy that it is contagious. I want to see them live again!

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Tuesday, March 20, 2012


doing my laundry feels so good!

U said U would call...

it’s 11pm
im writin this song
u said u would call
n im waitin thats all

i think we’re still friends
i hope that we’re more
u said u would call
as u walked out my door

what is it with people
leadin me on
im on my mattress
right in this song

u said u would call
u said it so nice
u said u would call
such a simple devi-i-ice
to keep me waitin
for the phone to ring
yre not gonna call
so im gonna sing

dont tell me youll call
if yre not gonna call
im not angry
im just waitin thats all

This would have been my song had i known about it back in December. 
Alguien me hacia sonreir de Julio a Diciembre.
 Pero lugeo romipio mi corazon en pedacitos. 
El me decia que me iba a llamar y me quedaba despierta esperando sus llamadas. 
...Ya no estoy tan confusa como ayer
Solo la ilusión trae desilusión
Y es tan fácil de caer...

Sunday, March 18, 2012

This is one of my Most Favorite Artist! Jaymay she just released a new album 10under2.
 I love her so much and this is my favorite song right now.
 "Whoooo doooo yoooou think you arrrrre..."

Today I concluded that I like being single. I know that there are like a TON of girls who will think that I am weird but honestly I have recently been on both ends of failed relationships ends. It SUCKS to be either end. Being the heart breakee and the heart broken one. Being on both ends is not pleasant.
I am perfectly content with my friends right now. 
I am perfectly content with not having to put up a bravado. 
I am perfectly content with being honest with who I am right now and being honest with my feelings. 
I am really happy that I don't feel the need to have a guy in my life to make me feel happy. 
All I need are my friends. 
I don't want to date anyone.
I don't want to kiss anyone.
I don't want to go on dates.
I don't want to give away any of my secrets or feelings away to strangers.
I am Happy with my friends and I am happy with who I am around them.
I love my life!

I don't know that I am regressing but I know that this is how I felt 6 years ago when I was a senior in high school. I think that just like then I need a break from all of this boy drama crap. 
I am perfectly fine without it!

Wednesday, March 7, 2012   this is a link to film on Hinduism and Buddhism that I thought was pretty great! I am in this world religions class and I just love learning about the basic beliefs of all the major religions my favorite ones are the eastern religions like Jainism, Buddhism and Hinduism. I think it is mostly because they are so different a

Monday, March 5, 2012

"These zombies in the park they're looking for my heart"

Deleted my facebook so I will be spending more time on here and on my tumblr.

Monday, February 27, 2012

"...I've been sleepin' alone, out on my own
I'm sure it seems like I'm takin' my time to get back to you
You been doin' your part, working real hard
I'm not lying, sure it seems like I'm trying to get back at you
Do you miss me too?
Baby say I'll miss you, just say you'll miss me too
Do you miss me too?
Well I been mixed up since the break up
Well all I need you to say
Well everythings o.k.
Baby say I'll miss you, just say you'll miss me too..."

I love this song so much right now.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

For Kynslie

This is for Kynslie I thought hers was so great! Is SHOULD be going to campus to work on some homework but... i got distracted. Oh well!

my questions:
1. What's your dream job? CEO of my own non profit organization. Where i would teach kids art and have an education fund for them for when they graduate highshool.

2. Where's your favorite place in the world? Atlanta for now. I just love it there. I love Atlanta and everything there is to do there.

3. What do you think the definition of "love" really is? unconditional. but i think this clip from Meet Joe Black covers it. 

4. If you could only listen to one album for the rest of your life, what would it be? Caitlin Rose- Own side because i have listened to it like 1000 times since i bought it. 

5. What do you wish you were better at? Rhythm. I cant Dance and I could never play an instrument.

6. What's your favorite mode of transportation? A BIKE! If i could ride a bike every where in in place that had side walks just for bikes i would move there instantly

7.  Finish this sentence, "I hate when people......" they complain all the time.

8. What's your bedtime? What time do you actually go to bed? 12 am mostly 12:30- 1 am

9. What's your favorite way to get exercise? Running. I actually hate it but i feel good when i do it. 

10. What book(s) are you reading/intending to read right now? the Help and Harry Potter. :( i watch movies THEN i read the books. Weird i know.

11. What's your favorite AS SEEN ON TV product/commercial? I LOVE OXY CLEAN!!!! it is like magic. As a kid i would intentionally get up in the mornings and very quietly turn on the tv and be super quite because mom hated that we watched TV all the time. So i would really get up to watch cartoons but every once in a while i would change the chanel and the oxy clean commercial would come on. And this usually happened when i came back from eating cereal. Before i knew it I would be done with my cereal and I would still be watching it and I had no Idea those things went on  for like 30 min. And i missed my morning cartoons. and oddly enough i didn't care i loved watching them clean things!! hahaha

11 fun facts about me! 

11 things that people dont know about me. 

1. I love anything and everything about Zombies. I want my birthday theme for when i turn 25 to be "ZOMBIES" me and vickie have matching intaglio prints of zombies I got them for us from a girl in my printmaking class. I love them because they are zombie prints but also no matter where in the world me and vickie we will have at least one piece of art that will bring us together and that will be hanging in our house

2. I love singing aloud to songs. ALL THE TIME! I love sining and i think i am a great singer but i know that is not true. oh well.

3. I traveled with nascar for a summer in 2011

4. Fall Out Boy used to be my life when i was a jounior and senior in highschool.

5. I signed a year contract for an apartment. YIKES! I mention thins because I have not stayed in a single place for more than like 9 months. 9 months is the max. I move too much. But in a way I am glad I did it because I hope it will bring me some sort of consistency in my life.

6. I love songs like these! Hopeless Romantic songs that I can sing along to and want to cry as I am singing!